Dating is a very scary idea, for many people, for a variety of different reasons. Some people are may be scared of date because they have not been on one for a long time (marriage break up, long time partner, too busy doing other things), others because they just never gained that dating confidence everyone would like to have.
The thought of meeting new people, putting yourself out there, and being vulnerable can be intimidating, especially if you’ve had negative dating experiences in the past. However, it’s important not to let fear hold you back from pursuing the romantic relationships that you desire. In this article, we’ll explore ways to boost your dating confidence and overcome your fears to find the love you deserve.
Acknowledge your fears and anxieties
The first step in building your dating confidence is to acknowledge your fears and anxieties. It’s completely normal to feel nervous and apprehensive about dating, but it’s important not to let these feelings control you. Instead, try to understand where your fears come from and work to overcome them. Perhaps you’ve had negative experiences in the past, or maybe you’re afraid of rejection. Whatever the reason, it’s important to recognize and accept your feelings so that you can move past them.
Build your self-esteem
Self-esteem is a crucial component of dating confidence. When you feel good about yourself and your worth, you’re more likely to approach dating with a positive attitude and an open mind. Take time to focus on your strengths and qualities that make you unique and valuable. Write them down and remind yourself of them frequently. As you build your self-esteem, you’ll feel more confident in your ability to connect with others.
Practice To Gain Confidence
As with many things, the best way to get confident is to practice. Getting a few dates under your belt is a great way to get your dating confidence going. It doesn’t matter if you mess up a few dates, the idea is to go on some dates and with practice, you gain confidence. Practice positive self-talk and avoid negative self-criticism.
If you’re feeling nervous about dating, it can be helpful to practice in a low-stakes environment. Start by talking to people you meet in everyday situations, such as at the grocery store or in a coffee shop. Practice making small talk and asking questions to get to know them. You can also try online dating as a way to get more comfortable with the idea of meeting new people. The more you practice, the more confident you’ll become.
Not Every Date Will Succeed
Being rejected is not such a big thing. You get over it and move on. Even if you were perfect on a date, perhaps it was just never meant to be.
The hard part is getting over being dumped after you fall in love with someone and fail to fall out of love at the appropriate time (but you never get the big prize unless you are in the draw!).
Even the best can fail sometimes. Albert Einstein once said, “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new”.
Prepare Yourself
If you are fearing dating, perhaps look at techniques that will calm yourself down before your next date. Practice breathing techniques, or look into meditation. If you are more relaxed, your date will notice this.
Be yourself
One of the biggest mistakes people make when dating is trying to be someone they’re not. This can lead to a lack of authenticity and a sense of unease, which can be a turn-off to potential partners. Instead, focus on being yourself and embracing your unique qualities. This will help you attract people who appreciate and accept you for who you are, rather than trying to fit into someone else’s expectations.
Remember, rejection is not a reflection of your worth
Rejection is a natural part of dating, but it’s important not to take it personally. Remember that rejection is not a reflection of your worth as a person. It simply means that you and the other person weren’t a good match. Don’t let rejection discourage you from continuing to pursue romantic connections.
Social Anxiety
If you have social anxiety issues, look into how you can improve and get some help. Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can provide you with some useful techniques, or perhaps a doctor will recommend medication to reduce your anxiety. This video shows some tips on how to deal with social anxiety and this website has some learning modules and information.
Human anxiety is a natural response and can be useful to deal with fight or flight situations, but not so useful for social situations like dating. Don’t let anxiety take you out of the dating game. With an estimated 1 in 5 people experiencing significant anxiety in their life, you are not alone.
You can unlearn your bad anxiety habits, so don’t let your anxiety stand in the way of your happiness. Left unattended, your anxiety can become greater in future situations, or you may end up trying to avoid social interactions altogether.
Mindset
Take a positive mindset into a date. If you are negative about your chances going into the date, this feeling can be felt by your date. Don’t focus on the negatives.
Anxiety can lead us to over-estimate the chances of something going wrong, or how important it is even if something does not go as you hoped. So whilst analysing situations, try remain positive.
Get Or Add To Your Outfits
Adding something to your wardrobe can give you a boost of confidence. If you are not the best at choosing your outfits, get someone you trust to give you some advice and perhaps go shopping with them.
Take Care of Your Body
Look at what you are putting into your body and how much exercise you get.
Eating good foods cannot only help you attain the body shape that can give you more confidence, but can also help your energy levels and ability to be alert and focused on your date.
Try Different Dating Avenues
Dating agencies are becoming very common in our fast paced worlds. Speed dating is also another newer trend that is becoming popular. Don’t be afraid to get out there and meet some new people, the dating scene is changing with our society where often work and a hectic life can make finding a date difficult. Finding people at traditional places like pubs and nightclubs is not for everyone and you are more likely to find someone that meets your interests if matched up beforehand.
Remember, dating confidence can be gained with practice and a bit of bravado to get in there. Building dating confidence is a process that takes time and effort, but it’s worth it. By acknowledging your fears, building your self-esteem, practicing, being yourself, and remembering that rejection is not a reflection of your worth, you can approach dating with a positive attitude and find the love you deserve. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there - the right person is out there waiting for you!