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Dating Desperation - An Unattractive Quality

Desperation is an unattractive quality. Sucking up to someone can almost be as big a turn-off as sitting there drooling at them. There is a difference between chivalry and waiting on someones every step.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, many people experience feelings of loneliness and the desire to connect with someone special. However, in the pursuit of love, some individuals may display behaviors that come across as desperate and unattractive. In this article, we’ll explore the concept of dating desperation, its negative impact on relationships, and how to avoid it in your own dating life.

What is Dating Desperation?

Dating desperation is a term used to describe the behavior of individuals who are overly eager or needy in their search for a romantic partner. This behavior can take many forms, such as constantly seeking out new people to date, pursuing people who have already shown disinterest, or displaying an intense desire to be in a relationship at any cost.

But I am Desperate!

You might be feeling desperate after a long period of not meeting the right one. This is pretty natural, but we don’t want our dates to be picking up this vibe.

The Negative Impact of Dating Desperation

While it’s natural to want to find love and connection, displaying signs of dating desperation can have a negative impact on your chances of finding a fulfilling relationship. For one, it can come across as unattractive and push people away, as it can make you appear needy or clingy.

Additionally, dating desperation can lead to settling for someone who may not be a good match for you, simply because you’re afraid of being alone. This can lead to a relationship that’s based on desperation and fear, rather than mutual love and respect. In the long run, this can lead to unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and even breakups.

Too Easy

Humans tend to have a problem where if something is easy, then they don’t want it. This can happen with dating. Unfortunately we can get bored if it is all too easy and there is no thrill of the chase.

Trying Too Hard

Being too desperate to meet someone can put people off… or lead them to thoughts of stalkers. When talking to people, don’t try too hard. If the person is going to like you, they should be liking who you really are, so don’t try to be someone else. Don’t drop your standards and find someone that deserves you.

Showering someone with expensive gifts etc can come across as trying to buy someones affection. Do you want them to like you, or your money?

Actual Stalking

Following someone around, online or in real life can be quite scary for someone you are just getting to know. Turning up unannounced can freak a person out, or make them annoyed. Don’t be a creep!

Constant Messaging

Don’t be that person that doesn’t know when to stop sending messages or ringing. Sometimes some patience pays off in the long run. Instead of sending “just one more” message in quick succession, try to cool your thinking.

It can also be a good idea to write important messages outside of a messaging program in case you accidentally send something before you are ready.

On particularly important subjects, you might want to wait a little while and then review your messages to see if they still seem like a good idea. Perhaps you can tweak them a bit to make them better after some subconscious thought.

This doesn’t mean you have to give up at the first signs of trouble, but keep in mind when you are going too far.


Did someone not respond fast enough for your liking? Do you suspect them of fobbing you off. Sometimes a person is just busy. If you go in accessing, you may come out looking a fool and end up ruining what could have been a good thing.


Are you sitting there looking at your phone constantly waiting for a message or a phone call. Distract yourself by doing some other activity instead of waiting around for them. Go out with friends, hit the gym, do one of your hobbies. If you can’t think of something… start researching for something to get yourself into :)

Too Much Too Soon

Be careful not to overload a date with too much. Read the situation and whether you are trying to move things along too fast for them.

Being Too Protective

In the early stages of dating, you are still feeling each other out. Don’t scare them away by starting to assume they are now exclusively yours. You are wanting to build up confidence up with them.

Your date may be seeing other people, or perhaps just other friends. Don’t let jealousy finish your relationship before it fully gets going.

Be Yourself

Anyway, who wants to be someones slave (outside of the bedroom ;)? Have your own feelings and know when to show them and when to keep quiet. This is particularly important if you don’t know someone very well and are on your initial dates. Be secure in yourself and not clingy.

How to Avoid Dating Desperation

The good news is that it’s possible to avoid dating desperation and attract a fulfilling, healthy relationship. Here are some tips to keep in mind:

Focus on yourself first - Rather than obsessing over finding a partner, focus on your own personal growth and happiness. This can include pursuing hobbies you enjoy, spending time with friends and family, and engaging in self-care activities.

Be patient - Finding the right partner takes time, and it’s important to be patient in your search. Rushing into a relationship out of desperation can lead to disappointment and heartbreak.

Avoid settling - Don’t settle for someone who isn’t a good match for you, simply because you’re afraid of being alone. It’s better to be single than to be in an unfulfilling relationship.

Have a life outside of dating - Make sure that you have a fulfilling life outside of your search for a partner. This can include work, hobbies, and other interests that bring you joy and fulfillment.

Final Thoughts

Dating desperation can be an unattractive quality that can push potential partners away and lead to unfulfilling relationships. By focusing on yourself, being patient, avoiding settling, and having a life outside of dating, you can attract a healthy, fulfilling relationship with the right person. Remember, it’s important to love and respect yourself first before seeking out a romantic connection with someone else.